There is a stigma surrounding long distance relationships. The term itself implies that there is distance between you, not just in proximity but in intimacy. It’s easy to assume this from the outside looking in. However, I know firsthand that there is no such lack of love within these relationships. Instead, we find love where and when we find it, and what we do with that love is dependent on the value we place on it and how much we are willing to sacrifice. While a long distance relationship certainly has its drawbacks, I have found that it forces a new level of depth than people typically experience, particularly teenagers
On May 6th, 2017, I met Ace. Two days before that I met his next door neighbor, Cole, who unbeknownst to me, just so happened to be his best friend. Both asked me on a date for the same weekend. Not knowing either of them well, I accepted both offers. This decision began a love-triangle more dramatic than the Twilight saga. It didn’t take long, though, before I knew that I would choose #TeamAce. To say he was witty and charming would be a massive understatement. But more than that, we had an immediate connection and felt like we had known each other for much longer than just a day. By the following Tuesday, we made the choice to make it official. The first three months of our relationship went on as any ordinary summer romance does. We went on adventures, met each other’s families, spent late nights (probably past curfew) at the beach, and laughed…a LOT. It felt like a movie, or a really good book. I just hadn’t gotten to the climax yet. Then, he told me he was moving to Florida. At this point, you might assume that our story ends. I mean, who, at age 16, would choose to continue a relationship with someone more than 1500 miles away? Regardless, we knew that there was something unfinished between us, and we weren’t going to give up that easily. So, as Ace packed his belongings into boxes and bags, we decided to choose each other even if it meant having a long distance relationship. Long distance relationship. A phrase bitter to the taste. Everyone assumes from the beginning that, all in good time, you’ll fall apart. That “nobody can be THAT significant” at such an immature age, and without physical contact on the daily. These disapproving and skeptical remarks began pouring in shortly after the move. Ace’s father even bet his family members that we’d be over before October was through.(Spoiler alert: we proved him wrong.) We tried not to let it get the best of us, but it can get pretty discouraging if you start to let their words soak in. How could we possibly have faith in ourselves if none of the people we looked up to believeds we couldcan do this? However, we recognized that this was ours to make or break, and only we could determine whether or not we would succeed. Every morning, we wake up and decide we are worth it to each other, and make the choice to face the obstacles that come with having a long distance relationship, knowing that in the long run, the work will be well worth it, because we will never have to say goodbye again. I’ll be honest with you. In theory, my friends are supportive. They all like Ace, and they know what he means to me. But, they still get annoyed when I’d rather stay home and Ffacetime than go out with them. My mom calls me a hermit because I rarely leave the house on weekends, preferring to spend time talking to a 2-dimensional version of my soulmate. His mom thinks he’s wasting his senior year. It doesn't matter, though. They don’t know what we know: that we can’t see a future without each other, so in the grand scheme of things, a year doesn’t seem like that long. We’ll do anything, even annoy every single person around us, to make it work. Okay, flash forward. We are 9 months in, and only 56 days, 21 hours, 5 minutes and 14 seconds away from forever. Sure, more of our relationship has been spent away from each other than together, but while other teenage couples thrive off of regular physical contact, Ace and I spend our time discussing our dreams, our future (together), proving our haters wrong and just about anything else you can think of. There is not one thing we don’t know about each other, because the only connection we have to each other are our words. I don’t even know if we would know each other that well if he still lived only 15 minutes away.You can probably imagine however, that we bicker like an old married couple, because when all you can do is talk, you can run out of things to say and rather than hang up, we’d still like to spend time together. Regardless of these minor disputes, he makes it IMPOSSIBLE to stay mad at him because he has this way of making me laugh at the worst times possible. The other byproduct of a long distance relationship is trust. You have to have a lot of it when you are 1500 miles away. How do we really know that the other is loyal and well intentioned (aside from the fact that there isn’t much time that we aren’t on Facetime)? We don’t. But we have to trust and have faith that we are on the same page. Again, we have to choose whether the other person is worth the risk of being hurt; in this case, he is. I love Ace Dallacosta. His eyes are a wonderful shade of green,his laugh is contagious and he makes me do crazy things that are so far out of my comfort zone, but they will make great stories to tell our future children. I chose him in the beginning of our love story. I chose him to go on this journey with. I chose him to give my trust to and to even sometimes ditch my friends for (hopefully they understand). I chose to give him the power to hurt me. I chose him to grow up with and I will choose him to grow old with. And I know that if we can make it through this, then we are strong enough to make it through anything life throws at us. True love knows no distance. Not everyone can do it, but when it’s meant to be, you’ll find a way to make it work.
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Trust is the foundation of every single relationship, whether it’s a relationship with your parents, friends, teammates, or significant other. It’s not something that is easily attainable, yet can be so easily broken. Trust is defined as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Every person can have their own definition of it, such as being able to keep secrets, staying true to one’s word, always being there for someone, or even something as simple as not eating someone’s food when he/she leaves the room. But to me, trust means so much more than that; it means feeling comfortable telling someone every little thing that’s going on in your life and not having to worry about them telling other people. It means that even if you are no longer friends, they will still keep everything you told them between you and them.
With that being said, some people even categorize trust as dangerous, myself being one of them. Not being an easy thing to give someone, trust can make us vulnerable. I say this because when you begin to put trust into somebody, you never know how they are going to react, whether they will really keep something between the two of you, or if they will take advantage of it and go tell other people what you just confided in them. Unfortunately, there are people who will manipulate your trust for their own benefit, and I’ve had first hand experience with this. I once had a “friend” who was trying to get really close to me, which worked as I believed that she was a good person, and I began to trust her. Eventually, when I started confiding in her, I also started hearing the things I told her being talked about by other people, some of whom I’ve never talked to. People like that, who will so easily break trust, are the reason why some people, myself included, find it hard to give someone else their full trust. Another way that trust makes us vulnerable is the fact that you never know when a relationship could end and how the other person will handle it. I’ve had friendships end and had the other person start gossiping about me and telling other people the secrets that were entrusted to them. When people act like this, it leaves you feeling betrayed, and can lead to you having trouble trusting other people.This is not the way trust should be at all; it should be that regardless of whether you are on good terms or not, the things that were told to you in confidence are kept that way. Having little to no trust in any kind of relationship can weaken it, or even end it. I personally have a friend who I thought I could partially confide in, but recently, she has been proving me wrong by talking about her other “friends’” personal lives, which is making me lose my sense of trust in her; thisworries me that she would be talking about me in the same way if I wasn’t there. On the other hand, when there is a strong sense of trust in a relationship, it strengthens your relationship with that person, and can improve the overall quality of it. I have two friends who I used to not be that close with, but we started talking more, and with that came the growth of trust in the friendship. Now, they are the only two people who I feel 100% confident telling about everything that is going on in my life, as I know that they would never tell anybody a word that I told them;because of that, they are two of my absolute best friends. When you have a relationship with someone, whether it’s a friendship or romance, trust is the foundation of it. Maintaining a healthy relationship requires having a strong sense of trust in that person. You have to be able to confide in them,feel comfortable telling them things knowing that they aren’t going to tell anyone. Trust is one of the most important things in life to me, and I believe that it’s not something that should ever be taken advantage of. “Home is where the heart is.” When I first heard this statement, I didn’t quite understand what it meant; was your home wherever you were? was home everywhere you went? Now that I’m older, I can get a grasp on what this exactly means to me personally. To me, this means your true home isn’t only your house that you live in, but a physical place, whether it be across the globe or right in the hometown you grew up in, with someone who you love. I feel strongly that “home” does not need to be a physical building with rooms, but that home can be someone, and not just any someone. Someone who you truly love, trust, and want to be with. This can be your family, friends or even a special someone.
I have seen this idea of home right before my eyes. My cousin grew up in a small town with a very close-knit family, and did not like change.He knew his “home” was at his house with his family. One day, though, the meaning of “home” changed for him, and we all saw it. He welcomed a girlfriend into his life, and with this, came a new him. He suddenly felt more adventurous: they went traveling together, something he never did. She was home to him. This being said, it does not mean that his family was not home to him anymore; he still considered his family “home”. It just means that you can have more than one home. You can feel at home with more than one person. You might have several people who you love, trust and want to be with. I also strongly believe that home can be a destination. A destination can be home if you feel the place is inviting and you feel you can be the best you, even without people who are close to you. It is also very possible that you feel at home in a new place away from your family, while also feeling at home when you’re surrounded by your family. After further thinking about what home is to me , I finally realize why some people don’t have a “home”, a place where they are able to be free and themselves, surrounded by close people. People who haven’t found their home, haven’t been able to find their place that they are able to be open and feel themselves. Unfortunately, some people might not be able to be “home” until they are much older, are able to make their own decisions, and are able to find their home on their own. I truly believe that everyone one day will be able to find where their home is, whether it is with a significant other who they choose to be with for the rest of their life, or if it’s a place where they know they can relax and be their true selves. I wish more people had a different outlook on what home is. I feel as if many people believe that home is just a physical place where you live, but to me, that isn’t the case. If your house is your home, but you aren’t surrounded by close people who love you or you can’t be yourself, then that is not your home. People deserve to be home, to have a place where they feel their happiest, and to live a life that they can enjoy. In conclusion, home does not have to be a building, but a place where you feel yourself And just because you don’t feel at home right now doesn’t mean you’ll never be home; give it time and one day you will be home. Dance is the easiest way to express yourself. There are several ways that you can dance. You can dance alone, you can dance with others, you can compete in dance, or you can perform a dance. There are also different types of dancing, like hip hop, ballet, contemporary, lyrical, jazz, and so on. No matter how you dance, you express yourself.
When you dance alone, you feel the most comfortable, since no one can judge how good or bad your moves are. Also, you get to choose what music you dance to. So, you feel even more comfortable. This ultimately leads to you feeling happy when you dance. You usually smile and just move to the music. You aren’t self-conscious about your moves because you know that you’re just having fun. You can also have fun dancing when you’re alone with your friends. Even though there’s a little room for judgement, you can still have fun and move to the music with them. When you do this, you express that you’re carefree, and more importantly, that you are happy when you dance. When you compete in dance, it’s a whole different story. You don’t feel comfortable at all. People judge your moves and you have little control over what music is played. In spite of this, this makes it a greater opportunity to express yourself to others. When a dancer has an angry look on their face and/or they sharply move to the music, they express that they’re aggressive, fearless, and competitive. On the other hand, when a dancer has a smile on their face and/or they move smoothly to the music, they express that they’re happy and goofy. However, when a dancer has neither a smile or a scowl on their face, but instead has a straight face, they express that they don’t have a passion for dance, which is worse than being too goofy or too competitive in dance. What’s the point of dancing if you have no passion for it or if it isn’t fun for you? When you perform a dance, without competing, you still feel nervous as if you were competing. However, you still have an equal opportunity to express yourself. Also, you tend to be happier with the outcome because you won’t be disappointed if you don’t win anything, but in a competition, you most certainly would. In addition to this, you get to show how your hard work, leading up to that moment, has finally paid off. In my opinion, performing a dance alone is the most enjoyable experience. I show how fun dance is by having a big smile on my face andI display my most difficult moves to show that anyone can get them, even though they require hard work. It doesn’t matter if people find different dance experiences to be enjoyable. They still express themselves. Being a diamond in a pile of coal is hard. Get it, cause diamonds are hard. No? Okay. Whatever. I am someone of 100% Chinese decent who’s growing up in the United States and let me tell you: no matter how diverse the United States is, there are always people who don’t actually know your ethnicity because of assumptions they make called stereotypes.
Let’s face it, being white and walking down the street, seeing a slightly tanned person and thinking, “Oh, he’s Asian so he’s probably from China” is definitely a normal thing because apparently, all Asians are the same (stereotype one). I’m going to say it one time and one time only: not everyone who’s Asian is Chinese. Asian means that someone is a native of Asia. The continent. (Although I am from China, don’t assume unless they tell you.) It’s the same with Mexicans and Hispanics; when you’re one of them, you hate it when people think you’re the other one. I feel like stereotypes are not fair and are unjust to people. Stereotypes are just assumptions people make before they even get to know the person. You have no idea how many times in my life I’ve gotten the question, “so are you Asian or Chinese?” The younger me answered patiently: “I’m both, you see. I’m Chinese, and China is on the continent of Asia. That makes me Asian as well.” Now, being seventeen years old, if someone asks me this (believe me, it’s happened before), I just walk away. (*sigh*) I spent the first five years of my life in China, and I attended school there (kindergarten and first grade.) It was the type of school where you live there. Everyday, we would wake up, make our beds, and brush our teeth (all that good stuff.) In China, every student is required to wear a uniform. Most of the time, it consists of a design like a suit except the females wear skirts instead of pants, but some schools have uniforms that are more on the casual side. My four year-old self never understood why I had to dress like everyone else, but now thinking back, I’ve come to a conclusion. The uniforms limited judgement. Think about it, if you’re wearing the same apparel as someone and you call them ugly, what does that make you? Exactly. As a result, the word ‘stereotype’ was a mystery that wasn’t spoken of during this period of my life because I lived among the same people everyday, we spoke the same language and we had the same culture and customs. Once in America, the mystery of stereotypes started unraveling itself and grew into what I understand today as axiomatic assumptions people make, mostly based on someone’s appearance. Most people don’t know this, but Asians (or at least Chinese people) take pride very seriously. This is why when Chinese people write/read their name, their surname comes first, because like I said, they take pride very seriously, especially family pride. Teachers in China are very strict. Asians are naturally high achievers and adults believe that strict teachings will lead to great achievements. This makes Asians somewhat excel academically in subjects like math and science. (Stereotype two: Asians are good at math.) This one I don’t mind, because who doesn’t want to be smart or seem smart? The very last thing I want to clarify is the stereotype “Asian have smaller or slanted eyes” (stereotype: three). Yes, as a matter of fact, it’s somewhat true. Slanted eyes are the result of the environment we live in so we adapt to the cold climate and sunlight with our slightly smaller eyes to protect ourselves. I mean, if I fall asleep in class and the teacher tells me to open my eyes, I could say, “Isn’t that racist?” Believe it or not, the ‘smaller eyes’ stereotype leads to another one: Asians can’t drive (stereotype: four). “Asians have small eyes so they can’t see and that makes them bad drivers.” I beg to differ; my dad is a great driver. Sometimes stereotypes can be hurtful and sometimes they are true. Other times, stereotypes can be twisted around, like “Asians eat dogs” (that’s a topic for a different essay), but whatever you do, don’t judge a person on the stereotypes this society has created for them, because those stereotypes are not the true them. And for the people who created certain stereotypes: control your imagine-asian. Looking back on my life, the most influential people who have served as role models to me might not have had their life all planned out, but they had goals that they constantly worked towards. I believe that these people became successful through their goals, and without them, might not have had the same outcome. My philosophy on goals is that they lead to success, and it is essential to constantly make them in order to push yourself to work towards something.
Goals are more than just something to do, they are your dreams that you are working towards. Bo Bennett said, “ A dream becomes a goal when action is taken towards its achievement.” I like this quote because it highlights the idea that goals are meant to be built up to achieve dreams, and working towards those dreams is some of the most important work you can do. If you don’t have a goal, chances are you aren't getting any closer to your dreams. When setting my goals, I like to focus on three main pieces of my life. The first aspect is professional. This can range anywhere from getting a promotion at work, doing well in a meeting, getting a report done for your boss, etc. Second, I like to focus on an educational goal. While this can be something like getting an A in a class, finishing your work, getting into college, I believe that it can also extend outside of the classroom such as learning how to play in instrument, build a shed, make a business, etc. Finally, you should have a social goal that can include making more time for your family, going to a concert with your friends, and more. These sections cover almost anything, and constantly having a goal in each area will keep you focused, determined, and a well-rounded person. Right now, I have several goals, but at the top of my list is getting into NYU for college which is one of my dream schools. All of these categories can then be split up into short and long term goals. These can be flexible, with short term ranging anywhere from minutes to months and long term ranging anywhere from a day to years. The importance of these two types of goals is that you can split up your goal into something you can do now, which works towards your ultimate long term goal. This will keep you productive in terms of getting closer to that dream. These should change along with your life in order to make the goal feasible and relevant to your current situation. It is important to note that these short term goals don’t always need to work towards long term goals. One thing that makes or breaks a goal’s success is the person’s ability to stick to it. According to goalband.com, 92% of New Year’s goals will fail by January 15th, which proves that it is hard to stick to your goals. In order to surpass this obstacle, I think it is essential that you make something that reminds you of your dream that you can see everyday to motivate you. You can do this by making a collage on your phone or computer filled with pictures of your dreams and set it as your wallpaper. This way, you will see your dreams and constantly be reminded to work towards them and set goals to get there. Beyond your collage, you should write your goals down due to the fact that people with written goals are 50% more successful with getting to that goal. Overall, it is important to self-motivate yourself to get up and work towards your dreams. A professional baseball player Steve Garvey once said, “You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential.” Use your goals to push yourself to become a better person, stay motivated, and achieve your dreams. “Just do it”: a common phrase used among millenials, typically when one is hesitant about performing an activity. Before you “just do it”, I encourage you to think to yourself, why are you doing it? Are you doing it to please another? To create an image for yourself? Or to try something new? For many of us, we tend to sacrifice our own well being to satisfy another’s wants in hopes it can make them content, when, in reality, it should be the main mission of ours to make sure that, first and foremost, we are happy and taken care of.
Each day, take some time out of your busy schedule to do something that you will enjoy, whether it is indulging in a treat, taking a nap in a mound of blankets or, if you are adventurous, trying something new in hopes of finding an interesting fulfilment. When it is sunny, I enjoy being outside on the deck in a comfy deck chair, eyes closed, taking time to relax. Sometimes, for me, I tend to enjoy something as simple as a long nap or a good movie. This time can also be spent focusing in on personal health through exercise or eating healthily. Studies such as those explained in “Psychology Today” have shown that certain foods containing sugary ingredients or overly processed contents can have an impact on our mood throughout the day, along with our energy. Foods that will encourage your body to produce more energy will typically make you more happy throughout the day, as it does not take as much of a toll on your body. Personal care can also simply be a confidence booster. Many of us struggle with acne when we are young, as well as with body image issues throughout our entire lives. It is not healthy to compare ourselves to others; instead, take time to appreciate your body and love it for the way it was made. If we all looked the same, that wouldn’t be much fun, would it? Now, of course, we will all have bad days when we just feel down in the dumps, but it is important to remember that tomorrow is a new day and that it has ultimate possibilities. I will often take a bit of Advil and go right to sleep when I feel like this, as for me, headaches are common when I am upset, angry or worried. Sleeping is my go-to on a bad day because it seems to be the easiest way to get a break from the stress and just be at peace for a little bit. To remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day, think of fun events or activities that are coming up that you have to look forward to. I know that I can instantly cheer up on a bad day if I have something exciting planned with people I care about in the next few days. If something does not bother you after 24 hours, then it is not worth your time. We all worry, we all get sad and we all get angry. Some of your worst days can be followed by the best days of your life. However, when the bad days loom over, it is essential to have a support system. This can be your mom or dad, a best friend, or just someone who really cares about you. To be able to get through any sort of bad times, there should be people by your side who will be there to listen to your struggles and look out for you, and sometimes even give great advice. I value advice from my friends and family if I am ever going through a tough time because I know they each want the best for me. In hospitals, after most surgeries, but typically more major surgeries, the doctor will ask that you invite a support system to stay with you as you take time to heal. This is because surgery typically affects us heavily, emotionally and mentally, and having a loved one with you to talk to throughout recovery can provide great relief. Also, you’re going to need a ride home. The fact of the matter is, not everything will make us happy. This does not mean it should be stopped altogether School does not always make me happy; I am very often stressed and it can take time away from me being able to work or do more that I love. However, this does not mean I will stop going to school. In this sort of situation, it can be seen as a stepping stone to happiness in the future, as it will lead to a degree in a field you love. To make the most of an unhappy situation, try adding something you DO enjoy to it. For example, for a school project I would incorporate my love for art; this way, I am enjoying my work instead of dreading it. Happiness is defined differently by us, but at the end of the day, we should be in love with our life, every minute of it and make sure that we are in the best possible position to do so by putting ourselves first. Family relations are flawed. Many 21st century families don’t follow the original family relation expectations, being that parents should treat the child as a mentee and the child should treat the parent as the mentor. There are situations when the child disrespects the parent or the parent abandons the child both mentally or physically; this happens far too often today. Family should stick with family through thick and thin, but family ties are often broken too quickly.
Many children tend to disrespect or receive disrespect from their mothers and fathers which can lead to a troubled childhood, and possible future full of crime, which can come with extreme consequences. Many criminals in state prisons had a rough childhood or had issues with their parents as children, “ Over half of male inmates (56%) reported experiencing childhood physical trauma” (Childhood and Adult Trauma). Not only does a troubled childhood affect the behavior of a child but it also affects the mental health of the child, “Stress, mental illness and substance abuse – all health outcomes linked to childhood trauma”(Childhood and Adult Trauma). Mental health is the reason that many family relations are damaged or broken. The mind can play tricks and be hurt very easily, so if there is an abusive (mental, emotional or physical) relationship, the person on the abused side typically feels as if they need to protect themselves against the abuser. This can cause a rift in relationships, not only the relationship between the two people, but between others they care about. Family relations don’t just consist of child and guardian bonds, but bonds between siblings, both as children and adults. For example, when a child is around their parent who is fighting with his/her sibling, the child’s relationship with the family affected by the fight may decrease. When I was a child, my mom and aunt cut ties with my uncle and my two other aunts due to complicated arguments over silly topics. This resulted in my grandfather not seeing his children as often, along with their future relationships with each other being damaged forever; nothing was the same. The relationship between my cousins and I became broken too. An argument between only two family members can ruin many relationships within the family. Although family relations can be broken, there is always a chance they can be mended; this usually occurs when a major event happens in immediate family, like death or a major illness. After a relationship is damaged, it will never be mended back to how it used to be, though. Many people hold grudges even though they don't intend to. Individuals who may not have family around can still have figures in their life who act like a parent or a sibling who can be considered a family relation. Without having a figure, somebody can look to crime or dangerous situations because they understand the process and the people in them. It’s important for somebody to have a reliable person in his or her life in order to be healthy and successful. Influential figures, like friends, aunts or uncles, or even staff of their attending school or work are important in lives that do not consist of an immediate family member. Mental health and morals are developed with the influence of a positive figure or a family member. As a child, my morals and opinions were molded around my mother’s and continue to be affected by her influence and knowledge. Many people take advantage of having family members or figures close to them, but when they lose them, they will learn to understand the value of family relations. Understanding how to properly keep relations strong and healthy is important to mental, physical, and social health. One of the largest factors that goes into having a good relationship with your family is understanding how to deal and work with those surrounding you. Works Cited Wolff, Nancy, and Jing Shi. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, MDPI, May 2012, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3386595/. In my world, sports drive my daily schedule. When I make decisions on what I want to do with my day or week, I check my sports schedule first. This all started when I was just a toddler. My parents were both athletes in their primes, and even today, in the case of my dad. Since I’ve been able to walk, I’ve been playing sports. This has resulted in my passion for physical activity that has been growing and growing since I was little.
Because of my experiences during adolescence, I strongly believe sports should be a part of everyone’s lives. For starters, sports teach people how to work as a team. This depends on what sports you play, because some sports are individual, but for the most part, sports are a great segue into teaching kids, especially young kids, how to positively work in a group or on a team. These lessons being taught early on in a child’s life will help him or her develop the skills that are important in the workplace, because most people will get a job that involves taking orders from people, giving orders, and consulting coworkers. Another couple life lessons you learn through sports are hard work and determination, two key characteristics someone should have when he or she enters the real world. I learned this lesson when I was very young. I was playing recreational basketball, and I rolled my ankle and had to be taken out of the game. It was a tight game and watching it from the bench killed me because I just wanted to go in and participate. A few minutes later, I decided to push through the pain and continue the game, and we ended up winning. This event taught me that being set on a goal is important and determination is key in obtaining these goals when obstacles arise. Sports aren’t only good for life lessons, though. They are an easy and accessible outlet for exercise. It is very important that everyone gets at least 60 minutes of physical activity each day. This is very easy to accomplish if you have a sport that you enjoy playing because actually putting in the physical work is easier for you because you love the sport. That’s how I am with basketball. It’s easier for me to put in two hours of playing basketball than it is to spend two hours standing at my register at the grocery store I work at ringing up peoples’ groceries. In the warm months, I go outside nearly everyday for about an hour to shoot hoops on my basket in my driveway because I just love to play the sport. Physical activity is good for all areas of health. Obviously, it’s good for your physical health because you’re being active. It’s beneficial for your mental health because it is a superb way to get your mind off of something that is bugging you because you are thinking about the sport you’re playing. I do this a lot when I’m feeling down about something. It also helps your social health because when you go play sports, a lot of times you’re either on a team or playing with other people. Sports aren’t just for all those dumb jocks you see in the movies. They are an essential constituent in a person’s life. Sports teach you many lessons that you will need to learn to become a productive citizen in the future. Many lessons that you learn through sports are key components of working in a job. These include being able to work on a team. Most jobs consist of you, your boss, and those who you are the boss of. Playing sports gives you an early lesson on being able to work in a group cooperatively and productively, which is crucial to the running of a business. They also teach you determination, which is an important life skill. Being determined helps you get that job you want, or that pay raise you are trying to obtain. Lastly, it is a perfect way to get active. Physical exercise is essential in obtaining the three areas of health: social, mental, and physical. With this in mind, I strongly believe that everyone should be exposed to sports from a young age because of all the benefits that they supply. Writing about depression is like expressing the inexpressible: the feelings, the physical sensations, and even the thoughts. Depression means to be feeling low and unable to have hope for the future, but there is no permanent definition because it is indescribable. Everyone experiences the thought and the act of depression in different ways. When someone is depressed, their brain tends to lie to them and make them feel like they are nothing but worthless and that the world would be better off without them. Depression is an emotional disorder, but most people who have depression are perceived as feeling sorry for themselves or just sad.
Heartache was the trigger point of my depression. When you are depressed and then find something that makes you feel complete as a whole,then that something takes your heart and stomps on it, not only stomped on it but chewed it up, spit it out, and threw it away, that makes your depression worse. When that happened to me, I was cold, alone, and desperate for air, because I felt like I was internally drowning in my own sorrows. Depression is not just feeling sad; depression is much more. Depression makes easy tasks, like getting out of bed in the morning or getting dressed, nearly impossible to complete. It is constricting. It breaks you down into a person who is emotionless. Depression is the feeling of loneliness, numbness, coldness, and being a burden on everything that is around you. The hardest part for depression is that no one can really notice. The only way to get help is to ask, but asking for advice on something like that takes a lot of courage. Since I was a little kid, I have always had trouble asking for advice; not only that, but finding the right person to get it from has been difficult. Last year actually was the first time in my entire life when I found someone who I could trust and speak to without being scared. In addition to misunderstanding people with depression, those without depression don't understand the emotion and power behind the comments, “I am depressed” or “This is depressing.” Most of the time, people use these phrases very loosely, which make, not only myself, but other peers feel worse about themselves, because it’s more serious than you think. These phrases should be replaced with “I'm down today” or “I am sad right now”. Nowadays, we are filled with assumptions and stereotypes that make us put labels on feelings. The labels that are created from these stereotypes make you feel like you have to be confined in a different society when you fall under these labels, almost like your feelings are wrong. Feeling out of the loop all the time and feeling as if you don't fit in anywhere is not the most pleasurable feeling. Sometimes I am called “crazy,” but despite all of the hate, I am still alive, aren’t I? I am alive because of the courage that I have built up over the years to keep moving along. Being slandered because of something that is so out of my control causes unbearable and excruciating self doubt. Having the ability to talk to someone about how I feel about depression has majorly impacted my capacity and potential of overcoming this. Yes, depression has taken over my brain but I have found ways to manage it. Mentally, depression is one of the hardest things I have ever had to try to overcome; it is not easy. Easy is completing a general math problem, but depression is like solving several physics problems all at once. Depression needs to be seen as a recurring problem in adolescents that is uncontrollable. It can't be the description of a human or the reason for not liking someone, because it is out of their control. Depression needs to be taken seriously. Just know that everybody is not alone, and everyone has a purpose. The Beatles once said, “All you need is love.” For a while, I challenged this statement. “Love makes us weak and dependent,” I told myself. However, as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve learned that love does just the opposite. Love makes us stronger. It keeps us going amidst the darkest of times. Love is so powerful, yet sometimes, so underappreciated.
I think I finally understand the importance of Valentine’s Day. Love is such a powerful feeling that they dedicated an entire holiday to it. There’s no holiday for sadness or happiness or fear or anger. However, love gets its own special day. Love is our driving force in life. You get up every morning for work because you love your job. You fight for your relationship when things get rough because you love your significant other. Love causes us to be who we are. It’s what makes us individuals. What I love isn’t necessarily what you love. And that’s what makes it so beautiful. It’s so uindefinable and yet so evident. There’s no definition for love because it’s different to every person. Everyone experiences love differently. It’s truly an amazing thing. In addition to being hard to define, love is complex in the sense that it has many forms. We love our friends, but not the same way we love our parents. We love our partners,, but not the same way we love our favorite meal at the Olive Garden. We love all four, but we love each differently. While love presents itself in many ways, it can be argued that the strongest type of love is romantic love. Romantic love is what leads people to choose who they want to spend the rest of their lives with. It is messy too, sometimes. There are ups and downs, and still, people choose to stay with the person who they love. This is one example of what sets apart romantic love from other forms of love. You don’t have to stay with this person, but you choose to. This is different than loving your mom, for example. She gave you life, she fed you, clothed you, cleaned you, and loves you. You almost have no choice but to love her. It’s important to realize the difference between lust and love, though. Lust is superficial. Lust is desire based off of physical features. It barely scratches the surface. It’s wanting to be with someone when you see them in that tight dress that flatters them in all the right places. Love, however, is much deeper. Love doesn’t fade when the dress comes off and the pajamas come on. I didn’t truly realize the importance of this until I was in love. My girlfriend tells me how nice I look when I’m wearing a flattering outfit, but she also tells me how cute I am when I wake up with bed head and owl pajamas. This feeling goes both ways. She’ll point to the parts of herself she doesn’t like and ask me, “Why do you love me when I look like this?” Everytime, I explain to her that my love goes much deeper than the surface. I love her because she just gets me. She can tell how I’m feeling with one look at my face. She knows how to make me laugh and makes me feel better when I’m sad. She’s so kind and caring, and I don’t think she even realizes it. To me, that’s so much better than being with someone just because they’re attractive. Love is essential to being healthy, both physically and mentally. Like I said earlier, love keeps us going. There is scientific evidence to prove that people who have love in their life are in the doctor’s office less, and that makes total sense. If you’re going through a rough time, (whether mentally or physically) and you have no love in your life, why would you keep fighting? If you don’t want to do it for yourself, who else would you do it for? This is different from someone who has people they love. They keep fighting through their tough times because they want to be around for the people they love. Love is so important for people to have; it makes us stronger and makes us who we are. Everyone has a favorite band or artist that they listen to the most and that brings them the most enjoyment. For me, that band has to be the Grateful Dead. I had always known about the band through my parents and and through seeing references around me, but it wasn’t until the summer of 2015 that they started to impact my life. I was at my friend’s lake house and his father, who had been a long term fan, was live streaming their supposed farewell concerts. It wasn’t even the original members of the group, and I only knew a handful of songs, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop watching and listening. I listened to the musicianship and the lyrics, and it was like nothing I’d ever heard before. It seemed to show me a different way to think about the world around me. Ever since then, I could never get enough of Grateful Dead’s music, and I think there is still a large number of people who are in a similar position.
The Grateful Dead can be easily classified as a rock and roll band, however, their music is more than that. It contains elements of bluegrass, jazz, blues, gospel, and if you listen to a live show, a type of musical improvisation that can be found nowhere else. Although they did release many successful studio albums, I believe the Grateful Dead’s success is due to their ability to put on a new and unique show every concert. It’s in listening to the live performances that I was really moved by their music. Many of their songs contain lyrics that I believe speak to the heart and feelings of everyone. Such songs as “Ripple” which contains the theme of choosing your own path in life, or “Scarlet Begonias” which speaks to making the best out of every situation. When these lyrics are sung with passion and soul, they inspire me and can often turn me from being upset to being hopeful and joyous. On top of this, each live show contains musical improvisation that can be joyous, mournful, or incredibly exciting. These touching lyrics combined with talented, and always original improvisation, reach many people on a deeply emotional level. The Grateful Dead started in 1965, and even though their lead guitarist and vocalist has died, over 50 years later, spinoffs of the band are still selling out stadiums. Along with their emotional touch, live Grateful Dead concerts have offered people a completely unique experience. They have a following of fans who have been inspired to create their own culture surrounding the band. While I never got a chance to experience a true Grateful Dead concert, I have seen a band made up of several original members at venues such as Fenway Park and the TD Garden. Even before the show starts, you are thrown into what seems like a whole new world, or more accurately, an old one. The scene around the venue is reminiscent of the 1960s and 70s in which mass amounts of people wearing tie-dye are seen conversing through the streets. Parking lots are filled with people selling clothing, food, art and much more. You can see all types of people at these places. For example, along with the groups of patchouli smelling hippies, I also bumped into my school principal before one concert! The attitude before and during the shows is that of excitement, peace and joy. Everyone attending only wants one thing, to have a good time. Nobody cares about what you look like, what you do for a living, or how old you are. People of all kinds are united by a band for a night of music and happiness. This kind of experience is something that I think makes people want to keep coming back for more. I always try to expand my musical interests; however many times I just feel the need to listen to the Grateful Dead. I honestly think that the band has helped me become a better person, or if not, they have inspired me to try and become a better person. The Grateful Dead have inspired me to have more positive outlook on every situation and to simply be kind to everyone. I believe that the Grateful Dead are more than just a band, and are a way of life. The Grateful Dead have always been associated with drugs and hippies, but I think that their real message is something much more important. They have put on concerts for prisoners, to raise money after disasters, and even sponsored the Lithuanian basketball team so they could compete at the 1992 Summer Olympics! The philosophy of the Grateful Dead is to unite everyone on Earth and to simply be kind, and enjoy life. What do you consider to be a good coach? Winning multiple titles and trophies? Constantly picking up banner after banner? For me, coaching is about a multitude of ideals, the most important of which is getting the most out of your player on and off the field. Without a player, there is nothing to coach, nothing to influence, nothing to inspire. Players give coaches jobs, but good coaches make players’ lives. A coach should be able to reach a player on and off the field, and thus, influence them.
When I first started playing football, I had a coach who, while not the most original guy on the field, was an excellent guy off of it. He reached out to every player on an emotional level, and to this day, players who have graduated high school still hug him when they see him because he was a positive role model in their lives. He helped them when they were first starting to play. Would winning a championship be nice? Sure. But looking back, I can honestly say that the coach who later helped guide me to the championship didn’t have a big impact on my life as a positive role model. The coach helped me and stayed informed about my life for years, and he still does to this day. This is what coaching is all about. Any coach can win some games as long as they have talent surrounding them, but it takes a special coach to be able to look a player in the eyes and be proud of them for what they do off the field as well as on it. A coach’s job is to make the player better, but it is what he does off of the field that makes him important A good coach should positively give his athletes support on and off the field and help make them better people, by reaching out to them and by getting involved off the field through checking in on grades, and just their life in general. A coach could go undefeated on the field, but if his players are failing classes, or getting into drugs or alcohol off the field, what’s the point of winning? A moment of glory? A great coach may never win a game, but as long as he is helping his players pass classes, avoid run ins with the law, and stay good humans by communicating with them, giving them a role model, and giving them a person to rely on, then in my mind, he is even more successful. Now, the greatest coach of all time could obviously do both, maintain excellence on and off the field, but in any age range at any level, this is hard to accomplish. Coaches should win games, and that’s why they’re hired, and of course there will always be a few troublemakers in every group, but if a coach can reach his players and influence their lives, he is worth keeping. Now, don’t think winning isn’t important. It still is the coach’s job to put his players in a position where they can succeed and to help make them the best players they can be. A good coach can scheme with his players in mind at times, thus putting them in a position to win, while also coming up with schemes that work no matter who he is working with. Wins aren’t all big, though. I used to play against a coach who won relatively consistently. He had a few really good plays and schemes, but I never respected the guy. Not only were his players not worthy of my respect, but how he treated everyone showed why his players were like that. A low-level quality guy meant that the players had nothing to look up to. If they were disrespectful on the field, they didn't care, and neither did the coaches. They might have won the game, but I can assure you that I still respected my coach a whole lot more than the coach whose team won. Coaching is so much more than people think. It’s not just yelling at players and telling them what to do, it is reaching out to the players and coaching them in life. Self can be defined as a person's essential being, specifically in reference to one’s mental and emotional processes. Self can influence the WHAT, WHY, and FOR WHOM we do what we do everyday; it gives reason for our actions. A majority of people live life aimlessly or by following in the path of others instead of by his or her own beliefs or ambitions. It is important to be able to adjust your attitudes and actions in accordance to your self as it develops and evolves if you want to find success in whatever it is that you set out to do in life. Knowing and understanding how your self works is key to working towards and achieving anything you set out to do.
A part of knowing yourself involves what you as an individual want to accomplish and setting yourself on track to reach the desired achievement. A simpler way to describe this is through the example of goal setting. Goal setting is extremely important because it provides guidelines for WHAT you do each day in order to reach that goal, which in turn, means that the tasks you do each day have a reason. Some goals are big and some goals are small, but no matter the size of a goal, it takes certain degrees of mental concentration and perseverance to to keep pushing toward what you want to achieve. But, you must ask yourself, why do I aim to accomplish the things that I do each day? The answer is purpose. A purpose is the overarching reason for WHY you do what you do everyday. Incorporating your purpose into everything you do is crucial in order to not only reach your goals, but to exceed them. In order to accomplish what you set out to do, you must contemplate what you believe yourself to be capable of, and do all within your power to do what you are capable of and more. This essentially sets you up to make yourself the best you possible and allows for consistent improvement. The idea seems simple, but it is not easy to clearly understand your purpose at younger ages because of the distractions of everyday life. This is why it is important to follow interests, because through them, you are likely to discover what you want to accomplish in life, and ultimately come to understand why you believe you complete your small scale and large scale tasks in life. During and after all of the hard work and effort you put into reaching your accomplishments, you must ask yourself, for whom am I doing all of this for? It is important to contemplate FOR WHOM you are achieving your goals for. Do you go through your day to provide for yourself? For others? For example, one person alone cannot hold all that there is to know. Knowledge is infinite, and everyone carries bits and pieces, so it is important to offer your own self in its fullest capacity (as others do the same) to contribute to something greater than yourself. In order to reach your full capacity, you must provide for yourself along the way to put yourself in a position to succeed. When you do find success, this will put you in a position to share it and give back what you have to offer that you couldn’t before. Actions are what life is all about. Your “self” is your beliefs and thoughts, and these are the first step to completing an action, but thoughts mean nothing if you do not follow through with them by taking action. Actions are WHAT you do everyday. By coming to understand WHY and FOR WHOM you take your actions, the degree of success and satisfaction you receive from your actions will be determined. Success. What does that term even mean? Its definition is the ‘accomplishment of an aim or purpose.’ To every person, that aim or purpose is different. Everyone on this world has a goal distinct from one another; no two are alike. Perhaps one person’s dream is to open their own flower shop while that of another is to become the CEO of a Forbes 500 company. In both cases, accomplishing this dream, this goal and aim can be deemed a success because they were able to become who they wanted to be, making the most out of their situation. However, for all goals to be achieved, the same factors must be put into place, or else the level of success will never be reached. Success is not something that only a select few can achieve, but rather it can be reached by all those willing to put in the effort. Becoming successful is not an easy task and is only achieved by those determined enough to sacrifice other aspects of their lives. As Colin Powell, a former United States Secretary of State, perfectly explained, "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."
To achieve success, you have to be honest with yourself. Are you willing to make the sacrifices that come as a trade-off in order to achieve success? If not, pursue another goal that is more pertainable to you. Just because someone else is willing to give up activities, such as sports, in order to devote their time to become a successful businessman, does not mean you have to do the same. When planning ahead to create the path that you will take to reach success, it is important that you calculate in what holds value to you. If you achieved something but you had to give up your absolute outside love to do so, you will never reach success, as only true success applies to those who are completely satisfied and happy in what they do. You would be looking outside of yourself, thinking you need certain accolades that do not apply to you to complete your dream; however, these do not make you content with the person who you have become. This would mean that success has not been reached because true success only applies to those who are untroubled by how their new prominence has influenced their lives. Once you have laid out what you want to achieve in life, believe in yourself and go for it. Strive for that goal of yours. Along the way to success, you will have doubters, but it is important to ignore them and keep on pushing. The key to success is to never give up on your goals. In order to achieve success, barriers must be broken as you are undertaking a route that is unique to you. People will throw hurdles at you, determined to undermine your own personal success. They will say, ‘you can’t do that’, or ‘that’s impossible’. In return, prove them wrong. They want to see you fail, as it will take away from their success. As explained by Zig Ziglar, "Don't be distracted by criticism. Remember--the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you." And, as David Brinkley wisely put it, "A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him." Use everything that your doubters throw at you as motivation to reach success because then, in the end, you will stand atop of their words. Along the way to reaching success, mishaps, even failures, will be made. This is part of the process. However, only those who achieve success take these defeats and learn from them. They work harder than ever before, determined to make it work one way or another. Whatever you do, you can not, under any circumstance, sit still. If you’re sitting, you are not moving, not progressing. You need to rise above your failures and try again, with variations made to your previous attempt. Everyone who has achieved success failed at one point, even at multiple points in their lives, but they never gave up, and that important characteristic made it possible for them to achieve success. Even when all odds seem to be against you after suffering your most recent collapse, if that goal is really what you want to accomplish in your life, get back on your feet and attack the crisis at hand headfirst. You may fall again but with every action you take towards achieving your goal, you are inching closer and closer to success. Have the courage to risk failure, knowing that it can only lead to eventual satisfaction. "Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down" (Charles F. Kettering). You have the potential to achieve success. Don’t let anyone tell you that you do not. If you have a goal you want to achieve, strive towards it. Work hard, harder than you have ever before in your life and successful will come to you. Through these efforts, opportunities will arise, enabling you to venture further down your path of success. However, if you give up, these doors will close almost as quickly as they opened up. In a transient moment, you need to decide whether to get back up, enduring the pain of failure to achieve success or to back down, living the rest of you life with regret knowing that one extra ounce of effort would mean that success could have been achieved. It is up to you to determine whether or not your aspirations will result in success as your opinion of the term varies from one to another. The importance of success is that once you have determined what yours will be, reach out and achieve it. “For the individual, education is the path to achievement and fulfillment; for the nation, it is a society that is not only free but civilized; and for the world, it is the path to peace- for it is education that places reason over force,” - Lyndon B. Johnson
Students have their own identities. Therefore, each should be allotted the right to their own personalized education, catered to their own specific needs. We have been coached from a young age that we should advocate for ourselves -- to go above and beyond. But how can we fulfill our own potential if school systems continue to foreshadow a pandemic switch to standardize everything by removing level-based classes? How will the overachievers continue to be challenged while the teachers struggle to educate those who need just “a little more help” or some extra practice? This does not make sense to me. I believe that forcing the change to equalize classes will not only open the door for adolescents to slip through the cracks, but will be a catalyst to greater, more negative life-changing effects on these students- as well as our nation as a whole. I have exhausted over twelve years in school, which equates to ¾ of my life. As a result of being in a classroom so frequently, I have spent more time with my teachers than my parents, and my fellow classmates have become more of a disgruntled family than just your average group of students. Believe it or not, my education and all of my peers have shaped me into the person that I am and continue to mold me into the person I strive to be. From a young age, I personally have struggled with not being challenged enough in some of the classes I have taken throughout my schooling. As a result, I often found myself bored-- or maybe doodling-- when I should be taking notes. My parents, noticing my little “problem”, both agreed that sending me to a private school would be the perfect fix to tend to my educational needs. As if answering they’re hopes, my grades increased dramatically as a result of being challenged, because I was finally placed in a class with a pace that was catered to my specific needs. Everything was going according to my parent's plan until my eighth-grade year when Ms. A---, my assigned teacher, called out sick… for the entire year. Frantically, the school tried to find a replacement, calling Mr. B--- in to be the substitute- or much to his lack of knowledge at the time- the new teacher. Mr. B---, not even done with his teaching license, was now my teacher for the entire year. Truthfully, I do not know who was more unprepared: Mr. B--- at teaching or me for high school. My parents realized then that they could not protect me from everything. No matter public or private, every school, will, at times, not provide the adequate amount of care that a student may need. The following year I transferred to Newmarket, with promising hopes of new developing opportunities. Newmarket gave me the ability to challenge myself, by allowing me to take honors classes. However, halfway through my junior year, word started to travel that the school system would be eliminating these classes I once praised after my grade graduates. Shocked and befuddled, I asked my teachers to gain a further understanding of the issue. And I was told the same story: everything will be standardized, and students will be equalized. To me, it seemed that no longer could students fail and that everyone would be given a “participation trophy.” I worry about the generation after me- the one that has to personally deal with the results of this change. How will they know what the real world is like if everything is given to them? How will they know how to deal with the challenges that life will deal them? These are the questions I have for the educators who decided on this decision. The upcoming students will not know what it’s like to be surrounded by classmates who enjoy the same materials as they do. They will not know the joy of passing a challenging class. But, most importantly, how will they ever be challenged? There are many philosophies about how to live life; some say that life is misery, others say that life is about making money, but I believe that the people who look at life this way are missing the point of it all. In essence, my philosophy is that life is what you make of it, so make it something you enjoy. I know this sounds cliche or obvious or whatever, just hear me out. First, I have to explain some background information. People throughout human history have wondered what the meaning of life is. Religion, philosophy, and science have all tried to provide answers, but I think that everyone is asking the wrong question in the first place. The ‘meaning of life’ is such a vague statement that there is no way that everyone could ever possibly agree with the same answer, which is why I believe that the question should be ‘what is the meaning of life to you?’ It is so freeing to think that life has no meaning, because now you can make it mean whatever you want it to. This is where my philosophy comes in.
Since life is what you want it to be, make life about having fun, caring for others, and leaving a positive impact on the world, no matter how small it may be. I believe that if everyone shared my philosophy, all of the problems in the world would be solved. You might be wondering how to accomplish said philosophy; well, it is actually simple. First, I believe that you should think about others as much as you think about yourself. It is common knowledge that people are selfish; it is human nature. Prehistoric humans needed to protect and care for themselves to survive, and the consequence of this is that people in modern times are selfish. There is nothing wrong with this, as it is healthy to care for oneself and it is important when being a productive human being. I am merely suggesting that if people thought about others just as much as themselves, there would be more kindness and love throughout the world and throughout everyone’s lives. If everyone was more thoughtful and caring towards you each day, and you treated them the same, wouldn’t that make life much easier and enjoyable? At least, it would for me anyway. It always makes me feel good inside to be nice to people and to be able to put a smile on someone’s face when they are having a bad day. I find that even a smile from a person I don’t even know that well is enough to make my day. If everyone did this, the world would be a much more peaceful place. Second, (I know this might not be the best advice, but I find that it makes life more enjoyable from personal experience), don’t take anything seriously and you’ll have more fun (specifically when it comes to boring tasks). I’m not saying to not care about anything, and I know this sounds like I’m saying that you should not care about mundane tasks in life, some of which, like doing homework, are important and should be done well. I’m not saying to literally take nothing seriously, I’m just saying that you should have as much fun as possible because life is short and spending it feeling miserable is a waste. It doesn’t matter whether you believe that everything happens according to destiny or that everything happens by random chance;, in either case, nobody knows the future. Many people are scared by the unknown, but as John Lennon once said, “once you accept that [life] is unknown, it’s smooth sailing.” Since you don’t know what will happen, enjoy what you can and take the changes as they come. If something majorly life altering happens, whether good or bad, you will always have happy memories, no matter what. If everybody had more fun everyday, the world would be a much more friendlier and happy place. Third and lastly, live every day as if it were your last. I know this sounds a bit morbid, but if you live each day to the fullest, then you will have a much more productive and satisfying life. What I am basically saying is “carpe diem”, so I guess I could’ve just stuck with that instead of “live every day like it is your last.”.The reasoning for why I think that this is a good philosophy should be axiomatic; by filling each day to the brim with memories of happiness and doing the things you love everyday instead of wasting time focusing on less important matters, you ensure that you will live a great life and leave behind a legacy of not only happiness, but of the goals you accomplished. Since nobody can predict how long they will be here, why not live without regrets? I know that it is easier said than done, but so far, I have no regrets and I have been incorporating this idea into in my life as much as I can. After reading all of this, I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to say that “I’m right so live the way I tell you and listen to me and do as I say and yata yata yata…” I’m just sharing how I think about life. I know what I think is going to inevitably be different than that of others, but I really believe in the words I am writing. I’ve been thinking about this whole topic for as long as I can remember, and throughout the 17 years that I have been alive, this philosophy is what I have put together from all of my experiences; it has not been influenced by much else. Maybe some of these points that I have explained don’t sound very original, but I came to these conclusions myself, and even if you disagree with my beliefs, I hope you can respect the fact that these are my own thoughts. One may argue that people living in impoverished and underdeveloped countries are not able to “take nothing seriously to have more fun” because they are starving and trying to survive each day with the little that they have. I would have to disagree, because I think that my philosophy can still be applied to any situation, no matter how bad it may be. As long as you have something about life that you can enjoy, whether it be a loved one or the community you live in, I say that you can still care about others, you can still make nice memories, and you can still leave a positive impact on the world. Even if you believe that you are powerless, unimportant, or that you don’t matter in the grand scheme of the universe, you can make someone’s day by merely giving them a smile, and that is huge. The world would be a better place if everyone shared this philosophy. Many aspects of life on Earth have evolved nicely since humans were running around throwing rocks at deer and drawing on cave walls. Many. Indoor plumbing, heating and cooling, and safe places to live are positive advances in the way of domesticating our domestic world. By far, the best thing we have ever done to make ourselves more comfortable in this uncomfortable world is the shoe. We justify settling in the arctic, or the stomping grounds of hurricanes, because we are the best, and only, species on this planet, which is ours. For this worldwide conquest, we needed protection from cold, thorns, and big scary bugs. For this, we invented the shoe. Clothing for the feet.
One of the many lesser species, the wolf, for example, has natural pads to protect it from, well, the very dangers of the ground. This is why the wolf has never been an effective species. It doesn't have good shoes. Humans, the most advanced species, were born with the strongest feet, because we are the best. This why we wear shoes today. Ok, so maybe none of this is true. We think these things are true, just like we think we need shoes. Our feet may hurt when we walk on gravel, but that's because we wear shoes so much that our feet are softer than silk, that they cry at the slightest hint of hostile elements. But the benefits outweigh the risks for me. The very idea of going barefoot in the woods, or a meadow, or even a swamp makes me so joyful. Just as humans survived for a long time with no cell phones, they survived in hostile places (which they felt the need to live in) with no shoes. Sure, I have had my fair share of barefoot injuries, but many came from human cause. One time, I was sprinting across a pressure treated deck, and got a gnarly log in my foot. Once you become adapted to the barefoot lifestyle, you see dangers in your natural environment. You avoid the thorn vines on the ground that were; before an invisible obstacle to your shodden feet. Take my dog, for instance. His feet are actually sort of soft. Sure, he has pads, but so do we! As is typical for dogs, he has no regard for physics and motion, and he will often rocket off a sand dune into an abyss. He rarely gets injured. If he does, it is because his nonchalant sprint through a thorn patch (it is quite a sight) does not go as well as it did the first 10 times. He also is afflicted by manmade dangers, such as metal, glass, and the monstrosity of hot pavement. The other thing about dogs is their enduring happiness. Many dogs spend much time waiting in posh apartments for their owners to return from an 8 hour work day. They go for a little walk in the city, they eat the same meal they have had forever, then they probably take another nap before bed. Yet, they are so happy!! One possible reason is that they don’t wear shoes… But Ben, what about the pile of broken glass in the street outside my house? All the diseases! My feet will be so gross! Alas! The animal kingdom has yet another answer. There is a mutual understanding between animals with no shoes. The raccoons don’t smash bottles on the walking path, because they know that they would be hard to walk on. When shoes are removed from the equation, maybe the incurable stupidity of man can be amended. If we all have to walk barefoot, we will be more careful with what we put on the ground. It could even turn into a littering-type issue. If you put things on the ground that will make it hard for people to walk on, you could spend the night in jail. Okay, so this sounds a bit radical. But the benefits outweigh the costs. Do you want to be happy? Take your shoes off!! Easy as that! It seems every month there is another shooting, and what is the government doing about it? Nothing. How long is it going to take before something changes? How many more times must this happen before the government decides enough is enough? Lives are being taken by weapons that used to be banned in this country and have been outlawed in others. Why do we allow this to continue? We should not have to be afraid to go to school. Teachers should not have to be trained to use firearms in order to protect us. How long will the politicians send their thoughts and prayers and not action? Something needs to be done, and we the people must do it. We must incite change because clearly no one in Washington seems willing.
I think it’s crazy that the government has allowed this to go on for so long. They tell us that now isn’t the time to talk about gun laws, when in fact, now is the perfect time to talk about such things. They say that this and many other tragedies are due to mental illness. This is simply not the case; mental illness is not the only factor. Guns are the main factor here, and we need to change that. Firstly, I think a good step would be to bring back the assault weapons ban and make it stronger, outlawing all semi and fully automatic guns and the parts to make them semi or fully automatic. While the 1994 ban might not have been the most effective measure, it was a step in the right direction and could open the door for further change. Secondly, we should make nationwide background checks, purchase permits, gun registration and owners’ licenses required. In New Hampshire, none of these things are required and so guns are easy to acquire. In New Hampshire, you can buy a gun and turn around and sell it or give it away; there is no regulation on private sale here. This lax behavior around private sale bothers me quite a bit. If you remember, or maybe you don’t, there was a man, my neighbor, who was banned from possessing firearms because he was a convicted felon after firing a gun at a car in Seabrook in 2011. When the police arrested him for criminal mischief (among other things) and got a warrant and raided his house, they found 39 guns that were all inherited from his father. Nobody knew that he had them since there is no gun registry in New Hampshire and nothing to stop his father from leaving them with him. It is harder to sell a car to your neighbor than it is to sell them a gun. It shouldn’t be this way. We need rules and regulations to keep people safe. Along with banning assault weapons, we should ban the sale and manufacture of bump stocks and other parts that turn semi-automatic weapons into fully automatics. In many states, fully automatic weapons are illegal but these devices are legal or barely regulated. We need to change the way we talk about and regulate guns. If we continue this way, saying “it is what it is.”, and “You can’t stop crazy!” We will end up solving nothing. I think we should work to let the government know that these are the changes we need. We need to show to them that this is a problem that we care about and that we want to fix it. There should be a ban on all forms of automatic weapons and devices to make guns automatic, we need to heavily regulate the remaining legal guns and ensure that guns are being treated like the dangerous tools they are. This is my philosophy on guns and gun laws. I care about this topic, and I want it to change for the better. I am no expert on love, nor do I really ever wish to be; however, no one is immune to this crazy thing we say makes the world go round. I cannot say I have found the person who I am going to spend the rest of my life with for certain, no matter how lovely that thought may be. I do not have a magic looking glass, but I can say I have had three great loves so far, and that each one has been a bit different.
When I was around thirteen years old, as I was cleaning my room, my mother walked in, phone in hand, praising an article she had just discovered on Facebook about love. Aside from telling me who she felt her three great loves in her life were, she also recited the article, and it is something I have not only begun to believe myself but something I have never forgotten. This article stated that in life we have what are called, “three great loves.” The first love comes when you're young. This type of love isn't necessarily with a person but rather with an idea. The first love is created through books and movies, magic and fairy tales. The first love is the one that makes you sit in your room picking petals off a daisy saying, “he loves me; he loves me not.” During this first love, the future you envision has no basis in reality and never has sat right in your mind, but who cares? You’re in love! During the first love, contrary to popular belief, you simply fall out of it without much pain, because the truth is, it was never really “love” at all. Although I feel pathetic to admit it, I think my first love came in the fourth grade, and lasted until about the eighth. This love was based on nothing but hopes, dreams, and mystery that came with adolescence. Although this love was barely even love at all, it is one I will always remember, because not only was it long standing, but it was also the first bittersweet taste of love I received, and like many, is one I do not think I’ll ever forget. The second love they call “the hard love.” Following the connotation of its name, ‘hard love’ is, in fact, difficult; however, I think it is the most important one of all. This love, unlike others, is an unhappy one. The second love is unbalanced and unhealthy, filled with drama and pain. In the moment, though, this is what you think love should be, hard; you think that if it is not hard it is not real, but although all love is hard, real love, even through the hardest times, is easy. The hard love never get easy; the hard love is what many mistake as the first love, for this is the one that breaks you. The second love is the one that leaves you crying yourself to sleep for days and hurting for months after. This love left me confused and empty, but most of all, taught me valuable lessons about myself, others and relationships in general. After the tears in my eyes had dried and the pain began to dissipate, I was able to reflect upon this tragic love and to realize how unhappy I had been all along. I was able to recognize the qualities in the relationship that just didn't work for me, and start to define what I really wanted in a partner and relationship. Up until the end of my second love, I had always thought that dating was purely to find somebody who you would spend the rest of your life with, and therefore, unnecessary for somebody young and in high school; however, after my hard love had come and passed, I realized that it's important to date, meet many people to find what you do and don't like, so that when the right person does come around, you'll know. Finally, we have the third love. The third love is the one that we never see coming. The third love is not like any of the others before it, and if it’s right, there will not be any to follow and compare it to. This love is an epic one at that, the type of love that sweeps you off your feet without warning. It is the type of love that comes easily and seems to be impossible. When hard times create a bump in the road, this love does not derail, but works past it, and comes out better. Just like all loves, it is not always easy, it gets hard, but nobody ever has to carry all the weight for too long. This love is the type of love you cannot explain; it is the type of love that your grandparents talk about, and that fills your chest with butterflies just by thinking of it. I cannot summarize my third love more than I already have;, the love is easy, happened far quicker than I could have ever imagined and still seems surreal every now and then. The love is not always easy, but loving them always is. It has showed me what feeling safe and secure means, and how to open up completely to someone else. Although I cannot say I won't have more loves like my first, second or even, third again in my life, I know that each has its purpose and that all people will come into your life for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime. The Three Commandments of Ethical Video Game Design
Conclusion: Adding Energy, Paywalls, and Grinding to a game are great ways to make money if thou own a giant scummy company like Valve or EA Sports, but since you are a new developer and you want to be ethical, THOU SHALT NOT! Gaming gets a bad rap from overly protective adults and figures in society. However, if stories in games are written correctly, they can be extremely beneficial to the development of the mind. A lot of games, like many books, can be responsible for conveying a deeper message, or can educate the user about some piece of history and should contain powerful character connection and rich dialogue. A prime example of a game that has done all of these things is a new release Kingdom Come: Deliverance. This game is a perfect example of how game story writing conveys history as it is set in Bohemia during feudalism. The game contains notes throughout the game that educate the user about Bohemia during this era; for example, the food, the commoners, the royalty, et cetera. While this game is extremely educational, it also conveys a strong message as, in the beginning of the game, before the main journey begins, the father tells you, “You might win a fight with violence, but you’ll never win an argument. Remember, Henry, if you want to convince someone that they’re wrong, try using your mouth and not your fists.” I find this quote important because it imparts the message that not every issue can be solved with physical conflict, but rather, can be solved with social conference. It also contains strong dialogue options and great character connections.
All story writing can be done in a way that keeps the user’s attention. A lot of games, now, have resorted to stunning graphics or entertaining weapon-play in order to keep their audience’s attention. In my mind, resorting to such aspects is a cardinal sin of game development. There are plenty of games that are intended to be first person shooters that have no story or character development. The meat of every video game should be the story, no matter how insignificant. The story doesn’t always need to take place during the whole game but setting up the reasoning to explain why events are occurring, or what’s even happening in the first place, is a must. Like a good novel does with its reader, game story writing carries its character development through different settings and engages the player. It’s possibly the most important part to somehow find a way to weave history into each story, even if the event is not in reference to the setting. A series that has done a stunning job in weaving in historical events but not using the same set of time as that event would be the Fallout series. This post-apocalyptic role-playing game has plenty of odd situations and crazy things that happen in the science-fiction world, but it still manages to weave in history as new factions in the new-world emulate the Roman Empire or even the Minutemen from Revolutionary War times. Mixing history, or myth in some cases, into story-writing, is a must as the audience will learn new information while they started the game with no such intentions. Moving on from historical events, it’s very crucial to have a story that makes the user feel a connection to the other characters in the game. Far too many games now set up the plot and kick it off far too quickly before you can develop a bond with any of the other characters; again, using the Fallout series’ Fallout 4 as an example, it takes less than ten minutes to be rushed from the modern world into the post-apocalyptic world where you’re now looking for your infant son; the main premise of the story becomes finding your son. I had no drive to look for my son as I never had a chance to really become connected with him. Within ten minutes of being in the post-apocalyptic world, I had already forgotten I was looking for him as I became enthralled with everything else that was happening. While both historical events and character to character connections are important, dialogue may still remain supreme. Dialogue can make or break a game for a lot of people. Whether the person you’re talking to is talking for five minutes about one subject that you really don’t care for or your own choice for responding to dialogue is poor, there are plenty of ways to ruin it. Communication in video games is essential, whether what the character says is scripted or what the user has chosen, it’s important to keep the audience interested by not dragging out the conversations. It is important in mystery games or role-playing games to ask as many questions as possible in order to find out everything that is happening in the area around you, but even then, these conversations can carry on for around ten minutes, which is far too long to spend on one character. When the user gets the option to make their own dialogue choices, I find it important to not be limited to three yes options and one no option, as Fallout 4 can be guilty of doing. I’d like to be able to ask other questions or give different answers, but many new games are limiting those options, and it makes it much less interesting to talk to people. Video games story-writing can be just as important as any other aspect of the creation process, if not more so. Story-writers play an integral part in the production of video games. A good story keeps the user enthralled and interested. Like writing novels, there are many pieces to story-writing in video games, including deeper meanings, historical connections, character to character connections and dialogue, to name a few. Depending on the type of game, different emphasis on different areas may be beneficial. Video game story-writing can make or break how the game is received and whether or not it is appropriate for various ages. Gaming is incredibly prevalent in today’s society and it’s crucial to include compelling story-writing that contains the aforementioned key pieces in order to educate as well as entertain. Game design is a very broad and ever changing topic. There have been many different attempts at designing video games, some original, some not so original, and others somewhere in between. There are things that must be done in order to achieve a game that is at the very least enjoyable to play. The most important thing about video games is that they reward the player in some fashion. If the player does not feel like the time they have invested was worth it, they will most likely never return. This aforementioned “reward” can be achieved in different ways. The most common way is via the use of “levels”. Take Super Mario Brothers for instance. It is a rather simplistic game and it does not have overly intensive or stunning graphics, yet people still play it to this day. There is a sense of progression that is achieved by completing each level. It gives off the sense that you are working towards a goal. There is also a game such as Dark Souls. It is known for its crushing difficulty that creates a seemingly hopeless atmosphere for new players. Despite this, it remains a very popular game. This is because it is very rewarding once you finally do manage to conquer the creature that has been killing you over and over again for the last couple of hours. When I first started the game, I kept repeatedly dying to the same creature consistently. Something about overcoming the odds had engaged me, however, and I wanted to overcome the challenge. After I had eventually won, I felt sense of pride that made me want to keep playing the game to the end. This is what a game should do in order to retain the player’s attention.
A reward is always necessary for a good game, but there are many other elements that can make a game well-designed. One important factor are the various detailed environments within a game. A game should be comprised of multiple areas that have a clear attention to detail. Not only should the areas be detailed, but they should also be varied enough as to not give the player burnout. Dark Souls III, is a great game with a high attention to but I was displeased to see that the environments are not as varied as its predecessors. As I played, I noticed that almost all of the areas were some type of castle environment. The first game had forests, swamps, towers and caves. This makes the game harder to replay, as it is quite boring seeing the same environments over and over. Another feature which a good game should have is replayability. Replayability is what keeps the player coming back for more. If a game is so good and enjoyable to play, sometimes it must be experienced twice, or even more. Replayability is achieved in many ways. The most common way is allowing the player to select a specialized “class” to play the game with. This could be a thief, a warrior, a mage, etc. Once the player is done playing the game with one specialization, they might want to try another one to experience the game in a new and different way. Another way to achieve replayability is to make the world in which the game is set in so detailed that you could not possibly find every secret or hidden item in the game on your first time playing. This is similar to movies that are full of little secrets and allusions to other movies such as Guardians of the Galaxy. Another way is to allow the player to play the game in anyway they wish. For example, a modification for a game called Half-Life known as Garry’s Mod allows players to create their own game modes and share them with others. This essentially creates a game with infinite value, as there are always new game modes sprouting up . I have discussed many things that one should do if they want to make a well designed game, but it is also important to mention what one should not do. One thing that big video game companies love doing are creating further transactions within games that people have already paid for. These are referred to as “microtransactions”. These could range from cosmetics for your character to actual in-game advantages. Mobile games suffer from this the most. For instance, nearly 90 percent of my games that I play will have certain “pay walls” that I can’t pass unless I pay real money or wait an absurd amount of time. This creates the illusion that you can play the game for free at the expense of a large quantity of time. This trend is becoming increasing popular in today’s video games. A 60 dollar game I had bought called For Honor has these transactions within the game despite being 60 dollars from the start. I was enjoying myself playing the game until someone who had spent a ludicrous amount of money constantly kept killing me simply because he had invested more money. It is important to create a level playing field for all players, or else it will just seem incredibly unfair and frustrating. |
AuthorsThese philosophies have all been composed by my thoughtful and insightful students. Enjoy! ArchivesCategories |